I actually feel older. Is that meant to happen? I feel like there's so much I've missed, so much I'm meant to know and do and suddenly, I don't have it, or I haven't had it and there's so much I should've done. But at the same time, I can't really think about what it is I actually should've done other than this nagging feeling that I've forgotten something.

I feel like I should be

stronger
faster
livelier
deeper
smarter
warmer
colder
cooler
interesting-er?
lovelier
prettier
slimmer
creative-er?
less of a push over (it ryhmes, so whatever)
wiser

better... in every sense of the word. And I'm not.

I want to read better books and learn better things and be better than I am.

Maybe this is a good thing, but it totally goes against my need to compartmentalize things. And as far as being less fangirly goes, this year is kicking off to a bad start :(.

I CAN'T GET THAT SONG OUT OF MY HEAD. (refer to earlier videos on previous blog post)